Sometimes I feel like just staying home all the time would be easier for everyone, especially chase. Everyone always makes comments on how active, hyper and "crazy" chase is. Even his own family gets soo aggravated with him to the point where they make comments to use to do something, discipline him, he's a terror, etc..
I don't really talk to any of my friends much, nor feel they want to speak with me, a lot may be because of chase. When he became diabetic, over half of my friends bailed. Now, I know the ones left, will really take off. I feel like I have no one to turn to. My heart aches for my son, because of all the people who find him so damned annoying. A few months ago, we were advised to have him put on ritilin, which I declined. Now, childrens hospital intake is involved and we have an almost definitive diagnosis.
Chase is autistic. And it kills me to say it. He's gotten so much worse in the last 6 months. Its not official, we still need mris done, and occupational therepy to determine which spectrum. But, the psychiatrist said it sounds very much like autism. PDD-NOS to be exact.
He wakes up, quiet and not communicating. When he's alert, he begans spinning, either on his feet, or all fours. Hell ask for an apple, or cheese, and if I don't make him what he wants, he plain refuses to eat, for hours on end. He washes his hands 6 times or more at each bathroom trip. He gets overwhelmed and flips himself in the chin, face and stutters. When he talks, he repeats himsef many times. He plays with his cars and trucks, groups them together by type, color and lines them up. If we break away from routine, its a meltdown.
Its exhausting, and I feel alone because, again, I'm the only one who's taking time to learn about it, and doing all of the doctors appointments, its like diabetes part deux.
If we get the diagnosis, I'm not sure well tell many people. I feel like if hey can't be here now, then they won't want to if it just gets worse.
And worst of all, I'm so afraid corey will be lost in the shuffle.
I just need a friend to lean on.
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